Wednesday, July 31, 2013
The thing about me and my sister not talking for over a week is that it has reaped surprising results. Honestly who wants to be living with someone and all the time taking that the person is invisible. But after a week, after she refuses to hear any explanations, leaving things this way have been pretty good. Days used to be some roller coaster ride. She would be someone very nice to talk to, the next moment throwing shit at me expecting me to clear up and take things as it is. I'm pissed off for everyday in the mornings and at nights, as those are the times she'd be home and expecting everything to go her way. Compromise, compromise, compromise. I didn't even bother yelling back any more. Of course this also means better sleep in during the mornings as she no longer barge into my room, rummaging noisily for what she wants, though the previous night I've been up late and she could have found the things then. Plus, she hates it when she is interrupted when she's studying hard, but i ALWAYS get interrupted by her in my room, and she will refuse to go away till she feels done. And i'll get panic attacks and get super stress, not like she will realise. So overall these days have been good, i can concentrate, and i hadn't been angry with that frustrated feeling. =)
7/31/2013 10:25:00 PM
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Last night finally seemed to have woken up fully. After a movie and great dinner with yq, it seems that i've remembered to breathe again! I don't remember the last time i laughed that hard, and had such a big piece of steak. =D TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!
Back to the normal routine today, being at home makes my nervous energy go up. Partially also due to the shock that day realising a crazy guy who's been pestering me recently lives at the same neighborhood. I mean, how did happened? I've been living here for so long and the first time seeing him here. Oh well, i must be in a dark phase of my life, having such a crazy person pestering me, having my deadlines clashing, and my permanent mood swing sister still swinging all at the same time.
*Deep Breathes*
At least i know that despite all the shit, there's still great people around. =)
Back to the normal routine today, being at home makes my nervous energy go up. Partially also due to the shock that day realising a crazy guy who's been pestering me recently lives at the same neighborhood. I mean, how did happened? I've been living here for so long and the first time seeing him here. Oh well, i must be in a dark phase of my life, having such a crazy person pestering me, having my deadlines clashing, and my permanent mood swing sister still swinging all at the same time.
*Deep Breathes*
At least i know that despite all the shit, there's still great people around. =)
7/27/2013 03:31:00 PM
Thursday, July 25, 2013
People are just like volcanoes. Their heat and anger brewing silently under a surface. When it's nearly time to erupt, it will be fully blown, regardless of how minor the thing it is that triggers it. This is the only explanation that i can come out with. 4 days in row. How petty can that be. I intentionally refuses to help you? You can have that in you for the rest of your life. But i will never apologize. Maybe one day you will realise, that you have been bearing grudges for nothing at all.
Bitch.
Bitch.
7/25/2013 09:40:00 PM
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
It's been a day with only presentations.
A very quiet day.
A very quiet day.
7/24/2013 10:15:00 PM
Monday, July 22, 2013
I honestly don't know how the fuck things can get so out of hand. And i'm just feeling vulgar from all the work recently and the additional shit. My bloody sister who absolutely refused to believe me when i told her i didn't purposely not help her cos i really didn't hear her calling initially! Who the hell be able to hear when having the room door closed, watching videos, eating lunch, and a dog barking madly outside. I really don't know what the fuck that bitch wants. Then she sob like mad and accused me for being nasty and say she will never forgive me and demands an apology. Seriously, all i want to say is ccb. CCB CCB CCB CCB. You want to create shit just bring them all on yourself, why give me more trouble when i'm already so busy? Plus this is some childish misunderstanding, and i've explained a few times already and all you say is that i'm a freaking liar who is finding excuses and wanting to do you in. WHAT THE FUCK!? It's going to be my dad's birthday this Saturday and she's still acting like some fucked up kid. Honestly ccb, even if you so free and so filled with energy for this kind of thing, all i can say is fuck you, you brought this on yourself, don't kill the happy mood of other people
7/22/2013 09:48:00 PM
Friday, July 19, 2013
Work comes in many ways. They can be thrown in your face, found out in shock by yourself, surfaces without warning and from no apparent places, twist and turns as other's work and becomes yours, or it can right there, stated black and white, till you finally decides to acknowledge it. Acknowledging a piece of work to be done is the exact opposite of adopting a pet or a kid. You have to get on with it at first sight, no questions asked. No picking of which you like better, no prior research before the adoption of work. You do all research afterwards, which may just make you want to pull all your hair out, but you WILL pull your hair out if it means getting the work done. It will decrease as you do, and it will increase as you do as well. Their growth never means a better bond, but becoming more outrageous and uncontrollable than the previous. It's like a freaking rebellious kid who couldn't stop increasing the shit for you to clear!
Wth am i saying? Time for bed.
Wth am i saying? Time for bed.
7/19/2013 10:12:00 PM
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
It's nice to feel positive and inspired by just anything
It's nice to use the word nice while hearing the nagging voice of my ex-english teacher in my head that nice doesn't really describe anything.
It's nice to have happy stuff to think back to even if i don't find anything nice right now
It's nice to use the word nice while hearing the nagging voice of my ex-english teacher in my head that nice doesn't really describe anything.
It's nice to have happy stuff to think back to even if i don't find anything nice right now
7/17/2013 10:39:00 PM
Sometimes i wished i really know what i am doing. So that I will not walk into wrong toilets, understand what the lecturers are saying the first time hearing it, and not submitting the wrong work for a 30% weightage report assignment.
30%, and i remember just how freaking long those stupid researches took. I was really pleased with the final product, and submitted it confidently. That was until i realized there's fixed questions to be answered in sequence, and instead of the fanciful names I've given the sections of my report, others probably have their titles the stated questions and content to match it. My report must have stood out like a sore tongue, that the first time in my poly life was i told to see the lecturer personally regarding it. Seriously, FML.... If he is not going to give me a chance to save the report, i will flunk it, like really badly. Screwed situation. But if he is feeling generous and gives me a second chance, screwed situation... Where am i ever going to find the time to redo a report with all my other projects and assignments crashing in?!
Maybe i should start praying.
30%, and i remember just how freaking long those stupid researches took. I was really pleased with the final product, and submitted it confidently. That was until i realized there's fixed questions to be answered in sequence, and instead of the fanciful names I've given the sections of my report, others probably have their titles the stated questions and content to match it. My report must have stood out like a sore tongue, that the first time in my poly life was i told to see the lecturer personally regarding it. Seriously, FML.... If he is not going to give me a chance to save the report, i will flunk it, like really badly. Screwed situation. But if he is feeling generous and gives me a second chance, screwed situation... Where am i ever going to find the time to redo a report with all my other projects and assignments crashing in?!
Maybe i should start praying.
7/17/2013 07:17:00 PM
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Today's special learning trip to the TCM college turned out to be quite a disaster. No, it wasn't that the lecturers made a bad organisation of the trip. Nor was it due to the lack of activities throughout. Just that i actually accidentally went to the guys toilet! Honestly, what can be more embarrassing than that! My friend who went first came back and told me that they only have one toilet, i don't know what made me think at once it's the kind of combined toilet of a single loo where both male and female uses. When i felt like going, i simply saw the toilet sign (which have both male and female sign on it), pushed the door and went straight in. Wtf. What can be worst than this? Ok... So my friend meant a single cubicle in the females toilet. As i quickly hop out of the guy's toilet, only to find a big group of my classmates standing near the toilet area, with me in full view. I could not have cringed more. Hurrying back to the hall i can hear them laughing like mad. Hais.... How did i make such a blunder
7/13/2013 11:27:00 PM
Monday, July 8, 2013
I've just been feeding my terrapin, Ninja. He's been here for over 2 years, and was named by my mum who thought of the cartoon. The name suited him, because he moves around sneakily, dashing off when you don't notice, and loves to climb at every possible place. He looked like a small green lizard with a shell when he first came, and have since grown to one that is bigger than the size of my hand. He grows so well. He eats a lot. He enjoys eating live fishes and displays the classic behaviour of a red-ear slider; being aggressive. Which is making things increasingly harder to keep him. I spent the the entire first year he came convincing my mum that he's here to stay. Finally the thoughts of setting him into the wild are gone, i feel like slapping myself for mentioning him to my grandfather. With an instant effect he mention a temple that takes in unwanted terrapins. Listen to me, he told me, just put him there and don't keep pets. I felt like I've wasted 1 year worth of effort to convince my mum as talks of getting rid of him came back. It's depressing, just because he's growing well, people don't like him. He's not unwanted, why should i ditch him to a temple that feeds him only greens? Why don't people throw their children away as they grow and require more things?
7/08/2013 11:38:00 PM
Saturday, July 6, 2013
♥ Panic Attack
My projects for the first time, are going really badly. With one freeloader who smiles at you one moment, and disappears the next when you ask her where is her part. Another project is confusing to do, even the lecturer don't know how to work that software well. "Well, you can explore on your own" , he told me. Bloody Idiot -.-
The remaining have tons of research that i don't know whether i'll be able to finish even at the end of the semester!
=.=
The remaining have tons of research that i don't know whether i'll be able to finish even at the end of the semester!
=.=
7/06/2013 11:45:00 PM